DOOM! Magazine

Posted by newageamazon on Sunday, September 19th, 2010

This Sign Does Not Exist ©2009 Ashly Nagrant/NewAgeAmazon, Rights Reserved

Let’s try this, for about the nine thousandth time:

No woman “asks” to be raped.

It doesn’t matter what she’s wearing.  It doesn’t matter if her shirt is cut low or her skirt is cut high, it doesn’t matter if she’s wearing “fuck-me pumps” or leather boots or fishnet stockings.  It doesn’t matter if she’s got a DD chest, curvy hips, eyes slathered with dark make-up or pout-y lips.

It doesn’t matter if she sits down next to a guy at a bar.  It doesn’t matter if she orders a cocktail, a beer, a shot, a “girl-y drink” or something you consider “sexy.”  It doesn’t matter if she has one drink or ten.  It doesn’t matter if she’s there by herself or with a group of friends.   It doesn’t matter how drunk you think she is.

It doesn’t matter if a guy buys her a drink.  Or tell her she’s pretty.  It doesn’t matter if she flirts with a guy, it doesn’t matter if they dance together.  It doesn’t matter if they exchanged phone numbers or if she told him to leave her the fuck alone.

None of this matters.  A woman in a tube top and short skirt could walk into a bar by herself and karaoke Nirvana’s “Rape Me” and guess what?  She’s still not ASKING for it.

I’ve mentioned before that I feel like a lot of the victim blaming coming from young women towards rape victims is a defense mechanism.  They do it because, hey, if they can figure out what that slut did to get raped, it will never happen to them.  Because it’s much easier to assume that you can prevent something from happening to you than face the scary truth that there are people out there who are sexual predators and who will come after you no matter what.

But you know what?  Women are raped while wearing sweatpants.  Women are raped while completely sober.  Women are raped in their own homes or when they are out with groups of people they are close friends with.

You want to stop rape?  So do I.  So let’s try this very simple step by step process:

1. Face the victim.
2. Turn away from the victim to face the rapist.
3. Ask the rapist “Why the HELL did you think it was okay to rape her?”
4. When the rapist tells you why they thought it was okay, reply with “Fuck you, it’s never okay to rape.”

And really, what do you think is going to be more effective in the long run?  Telling young girls that they’d better act like “good girls” or they’ll get raped?  Or telling young men that they’d better NOT ACT LIKE RAPISTS OR THEY’LL BE MISERABLE EXCUSES FROM HUMAN BEINGS AND, HEY, POTENTIAL JAIL TIME.

Well, here’s a hint: we’ve been trying that first option for a long time.  1 in 4 women is still likely to be raped.  So, let’s try that second for awhile.  As a social experiment.

Related posts:

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 19th, 2010 at 2:35 PM. It is filed under Blog, Commentary, New Age Amazon and tagged with feminism, rape, rape apologist, slut shaming, This Sign Does Not Exist. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.