Mark Reads ‘Twilight’ Hate Mail

Posted by PanasonicYouth on Thursday, May 13th, 2010

I’ve come to the realization that roughly three quarters of my work on Buzznet has been all about destroying or mocking what other people love. That’s…sort of sad, I suppose, and hardly constructive. But then I started getting hate mail. Not the normal trolling comments I’m used to from posting about politics or music wankery, no; this type of hate mail was very real and very serious. So I did the best thing I could do with them: mock them ruthlessly. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Twilight hate mail.

I got my first hate message after my review of the prologue/Chapter 1. I was actually surprised how quickly this showed up, so I must admit that I was impressed with the dedication Twilight fans demonstrate at time.

Let’s get started.

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Well…..there it is. There you go. That’s the first one I got. I love that the subject and the body are exactly the same thing.

There’s really nothing to analyze here. I didn’t respond. I mean…what do you say to that?

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I was initially surprised that there were any periods at all in this message.

I didn’t know what to do with this either, so I just ignored it.

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Holy shit. That’s some excellent trolling right there. And it’s typed correctly! I’m not sure how a five year old could even hold up my camera, but that’s neither here nor there. This is clearly an attempt to make me mad and I’m not buying it.

And for the record, of course I’m jealous that Meyer is rich. Because I can most certainly write better than her and I’m still…not rich. DUH.

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Awesome. Back to this again.

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This one just confuses me. First of all, where is this person getting their information? When have I told any of you to be sheep? And I’m pretty sure my bio is…empty? What?

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I almost feel bad about this one. Poor thing.

Here’s the last one I got. It was around Chapter 15 that this arrived:

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There you go. I love my job.

It’s funny (and kind of sad?) that a lot of trolls that come this way go for the gay jugular immediately, as if I haven’t heard every gay slur in the book at this point. Seriously, dudes, I’ve been made fun of my whole life. You’re going to have to do better than that to insult me.

Originally published on Mark Reads Twilight

Missed Mark Reads Twilight? Read it here on DOOM! Magazine from the beginning… Mark Will Read the Entire Twilight Series (so you don’t have to)

Related posts:

Mark Reads 'Twilight': Chapter 7
Mark Reads 'New Moon': Chapter 4
Mark Reads 'New Moon': Chapter 12

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 13th, 2010 at 12:18 PM. It is filed under Literature and tagged with , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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3 Responses to “Mark Reads ‘Twilight’ Hate Mail”

  1. Ally says:
    October 2, 2010 at 6:50 PM

    Mark that last hatemail hurt me to my very core. There are plenty of things that I like that people may hate and I would never insult them in in such a way but I was raised better than that. That is probably the reason I hate Twilight with a mighty passion. I am starting to hate the fans even more. I realize that most Twi-hards have the education level of a fifth grader(I feel bad for insulting fifth graders they deserve better) however that sort of ignorance is uncalled for. I realize that most Twi-hards dont have the cognitive ability to appreciate real literature so I have tried to forgive them of their behavior but…some things are just too heinous to forgive and that last letter was one of them. I love your reviews and I hope you will keep up the good work. Also, don’t be jealous of Smeyer for the money she made off that Twi-crap. All the money in the world won’t buy her sanity and this woman is obviously disturbed.

    Reply
  2. izzybella says:
    October 15, 2010 at 2:54 PM

    Ally, I’m completely with you on the first part. That was a hateful comment made by a stupid, ignorant person.

    As to the latter? I wouldn’t categorize “most” Twilight fans as uneducated morons-only the exceptionally vocal dipshitty extremists. The rest are either teenagers lacking the maturity to understand that the Bella/Edward relationship is incredibly unhealthy, or discontent middle-aged married women with a desire to relive their youth. A titch sad? Yes, but not necessarily uneducated.

    I will not lie. I read the book when I was recovering from the flu and I was entertained. But it is nowhere near my top 20 list of the most awesome books I’ve ever read. In fact, Mark, you might have enjoyed it more if you read it when you were high on the codiene-fueled prescription cough syrup. The higher you are, the better this book is. :)

    Reply
    • Ally says:
      October 26, 2010 at 3:25 PM

      Izzybella, I consider Twi-hards and Twilight fans vastly different. Sometwilight fans see it for the literary garbage that it is but still find it entertaining. Other’s realize it wasn’t a well written book but still liked it. I don’t have a problem with them. In fact I can respect them for that. However, I have a problem with Twi-hards and Twits that believe that this book is the very essence of literature and won’t listen to reason or logic when you do not agree with them. They are often irrational, ignorant and hateful. Twi-hard and Twits I do not have tolerance for.

      I read all four books and I though Twilight was okay but when you start hoping for the protagonist to die a gruesome death it’s safe to say you don’t like the book. I keep reading the books hoping and dreaming they would get better. I was very disappointed. On my deathbed Smeyer owes me a refund on the week I lost reading her crap!

      Reply

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