I realized that I’ve been spoiling you lot so far. I’ve been showing you bands that are reasonably polished, but lacking in the lyrics/concept department. But sometimes, you come across a band that is trully the whole package. Conceptually, they’re bad. They lack musical ability. And they fail at their genre.
For those of you who don’t know, I am a bit of a closet metal head. I love me some screaming, double bass peddle, chugging guitar. Which means I can understand why people would like, say, Slipknot or Bring Me the Horizon. While deathcore as a genre can really only loosely be described as music, better deathcore bands (read: tolerable) can be differentiated from bad deathcore bands (read: unintelligible noise).
This is where Annotations of an Autopsy come in. Already they fulfil metal cliche #1 by giving themselves a name that alludes to death. Personally, I find it really hard to take a band seriously when they have alliteration in their name. Perhaps its just me. But its just so trite.
Their lead singer has decided to go with a pig-squeal scream, which I maintain, is to disguise the fact he either cant sing, or lacks the balls to be able to do a low pitched Parkway Drive-style scream. The problem I find with pig squeals is that they honestly can not be taken seriously. Any band that attempts to do it is simply laughable. Real metal bands are surely able to discern this fact. As one Youtube-r puts it succintly: “The Fat fuck of a lead vocalist could just arse rape a pig on stage and it would be the same thing.” They really didn’t need a lead singer, they could have just glued a beard onto a boar and it would have effectively the same sound, and looked virtually identical. IDK, maybe the pig squeals are a mating call for lead singer? Because only some ugly fat chick would bang that. HERE PIGGY PIGGY.
Oh but, conceptually, they’re terrible too. Rob Zombie called, he wants the whole necrophilia schtick back. (Or maybe they’re just sexually frustrated and need to turn to the dead because no living girl would want anything to do with them?)
“My knife is deep inside your fucking uterus shut you’re fucking mouth, as im thrusting My knife inside your, sexual organs you should never be allowed to reproduce ill make it my priority, to wipe you out you fucking plague on humanity ill watch your body twitch and squirm never control my life, you will never learn I only called you over so I could commit murder and rid this world of one fucked up cunt You are the queen of filth and hypocrisy spinning your web of lies and hate You don’t deserve life, you fucking disgust me YOUR SOUL IS DEAD and burning, you lived this way Think but never see For years and years you’ve sickened me Left a path of destruction in your wake your the queen of filth, spreading hypocrisy Your soul is dead for years and and years I have lived in your filth For years you’ve been a coward your soul is dead”
As you can see, their lyrics are extremely complex and allegorical. If only. In fact, I’m pretty sure their lyrics fulfil every single metal cliche there is-
Murder? √
Reference to internal organ? √
Biblical reference? √
Unnecessary swearing? √
Emo reference to lies and deception? √
Destruction? √
Just for the lulz, I’ll post some more of their lyrics. They are just so terrible and perverse.
“Selling limbs from a bag was always my forte; I get my stock for perverted clients/ This is my store/ Thrust my rotting member deep inside her oozing gash, pushing deeply/ Pushing deep, as deep as I can, feeling blood squelch against my cock/ I like the feel of the worms against my shaft/ Fuck my stock, just for fun, just for kicks/ I like the feel of the worms wriggling on my cock/ Found my victim in the streets, told her body I needed it/ Then down in my basement I carved her/ Storing her parts in jars for my clients/ I drained her blood, so to embalm/ Death gets me off/ I am sick and I cum bile ”
As far as their musical abilities, look, they aren’t terrible. The guitarists are not completely inept, they just have a breakdown every ten seconds. (Insert deathcore breakdown joke here?). In fact one or two of the breakdowns were almost good, although I feel that had more to do with the fact they were ripped from Machine Head/Misery Signal than this band having any real talent or originality.
The main problem is that the guitarists are trying to do too many things at once, and it just comes across as a huge clusterfuck of noise. Furthermore, their tuning could do with going down a few keys. It’s just not metal unless its in drop-a tuning.
Listen to the first minute, if only for the lulz:
edit: also, how has that video got a 4 1/2 star rating on youtube?!? this is madness, and not even the spartan kind.
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The Hunt for the Worst Musical Act: Annotations of An Autopsy
Posted by Kristyn Glanville on Sunday, September 12th, 2010
I realized that I’ve been spoiling you lot so far. I’ve been showing you bands that are reasonably polished, but lacking in the lyrics/concept department. But sometimes, you come across a band that is trully the whole package. Conceptually, they’re bad. They lack musical ability. And they fail at their genre.
For those of you who don’t know, I am a bit of a closet metal head. I love me some screaming, double bass peddle, chugging guitar. Which means I can understand why people would like, say, Slipknot or Bring Me the Horizon. While deathcore as a genre can really only loosely be described as music, better deathcore bands (read: tolerable) can be differentiated from bad deathcore bands (read: unintelligible noise).
This is where Annotations of an Autopsy come in. Already they fulfil metal cliche #1 by giving themselves a name that alludes to death. Personally, I find it really hard to take a band seriously when they have alliteration in their name. Perhaps its just me. But its just so trite.
Their lead singer has decided to go with a pig-squeal scream, which I maintain, is to disguise the fact he either cant sing, or lacks the balls to be able to do a low pitched Parkway Drive-style scream. The problem I find with pig squeals is that they honestly can not be taken seriously. Any band that attempts to do it is simply laughable. Real metal bands are surely able to discern this fact. As one Youtube-r puts it succintly: “The Fat fuck of a lead vocalist could just arse rape a pig on stage and it would be the same thing.” They really didn’t need a lead singer, they could have just glued a beard onto a boar and it would have effectively the same sound, and looked virtually identical. IDK, maybe the pig squeals are a mating call for lead singer? Because only some ugly fat chick would bang that. HERE PIGGY PIGGY.
Oh but, conceptually, they’re terrible too. Rob Zombie called, he wants the whole necrophilia schtick back. (Or maybe they’re just sexually frustrated and need to turn to the dead because no living girl would want anything to do with them?)
“My knife is deep inside your fucking uterus shut you’re fucking mouth, as im thrusting My knife inside your, sexual organs you should never be allowed to reproduce ill make it my priority, to wipe you out you fucking plague on humanity ill watch your body twitch and squirm never control my life, you will never learn I only called you over so I could commit murder and rid this world of one fucked up cunt You are the queen of filth and hypocrisy spinning your web of lies and hate You don’t deserve life, you fucking disgust me YOUR SOUL IS DEAD and burning, you lived this way Think but never see For years and years you’ve sickened me Left a path of destruction in your wake your the queen of filth, spreading hypocrisy Your soul is dead for years and and years I have lived in your filth For years you’ve been a coward your soul is dead”
As you can see, their lyrics are extremely complex and allegorical. If only. In fact, I’m pretty sure their lyrics fulfil every single metal cliche there is-
Murder? √
Reference to internal organ? √
Biblical reference? √
Unnecessary swearing? √
Emo reference to lies and deception? √
Destruction? √
Just for the lulz, I’ll post some more of their lyrics. They are just so terrible and perverse.
“Selling limbs from a bag was always my forte; I get my stock for perverted clients/ This is my store/ Thrust my rotting member deep inside her oozing gash, pushing deeply/ Pushing deep, as deep as I can, feeling blood squelch against my cock/ I like the feel of the worms against my shaft/ Fuck my stock, just for fun, just for kicks/ I like the feel of the worms wriggling on my cock/ Found my victim in the streets, told her body I needed it/ Then down in my basement I carved her/ Storing her parts in jars for my clients/ I drained her blood, so to embalm/ Death gets me off/ I am sick and I cum bile ”
As far as their musical abilities, look, they aren’t terrible. The guitarists are not completely inept, they just have a breakdown every ten seconds. (Insert deathcore breakdown joke here?). In fact one or two of the breakdowns were almost good, although I feel that had more to do with the fact they were ripped from Machine Head/Misery Signal than this band having any real talent or originality.
The main problem is that the guitarists are trying to do too many things at once, and it just comes across as a huge clusterfuck of noise. Furthermore, their tuning could do with going down a few keys. It’s just not metal unless its in drop-a tuning.
Listen to the first minute, if only for the lulz:
edit: also, how has that video got a 4 1/2 star rating on youtube?!? this is madness, and not even the spartan kind.
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This entry was posted on Sunday, September 12th, 2010 at 4:46 PM. It is filed under Blog, Commentary, Music and tagged with Annotations of An Autopsy, Hunt for Worst Musical Act. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.